


Thinking Process

by thegoddessinzerogravity



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Post Episode: s02e5 Always Two There Are, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, ezra bridger: professional hug giver, man ahsoka needs someone to talk to, the entire ghost crew is mentioned but not the focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 08:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8660146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegoddessinzerogravity/pseuds/thegoddessinzerogravity
Summary: Ahsoka has nightmares too, never mind how old they might be. She knows it's easier with someone else to chase away the fear.





	

Ahsoka was exhausted. Over the years, she'd gotten good at ignoring weariness in favor of continuing on with whatever job or mission she was doing, but it was getting harder to ignore now. She'd been up for hours with Kanan, Hera, and Sato, rereading the report that Ezra and Sabine had brought in from their medical supply run, trying gather as much information as possible from their accounts. 

Commander Sato had originally wanted to call in Ezra and Sabine themselves and personally dig them for more details about the Inquisitors, but Kanan had stopped him. "The kids have had enough for one day," he'd said, his voice scratchy from lack of sleep. "Let them rest. You can ask them in the morning, if you still need to."

Sato had frowned, and she could tell that he wanted to protest. His eyes flickered over to meet hers, and she tried to make her face as blank as possible. She agreed with Kanan that the two youngest members of the Ghost crew deserved their rest, but she also shared Sato's intense concern about the Seventh Sister's admission that they knew about Fulcrum's identity. 

"We've done as much as we can tonight. I say we adjourn for the night." Hera stood up as she spoke, stretching her arms above her head. She yawned, her lekku trembling briefly with the movement. Kanan nodded in agreement and stood up after her, putting an arm on her back as the pair started down the hallway towards their shared cabin.

Sato sighed and stood up too, leaving Ahsoka perched on the bench alone. "I'm going to take my ship back to the main fleet now, Ahsoka. Do you want to come?" She considered it for a moment. Hera had reassured her multiple times that she was always welcome aboard the Ghost, any time, and there was a slight pulsing in the back of her head, the Force telling her not to leave quite yet.

"No, thank you. I'll tell you when I get on a ship back."

Sato just nodded, and didn't ask why. He knew her well enough to not ask, which she was endlessly grateful for. She could barely explain her own Force-induced feelings and impulses to herself, much less another person.

Now she was alone in the main hallway of the Ghost, leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, trying to track down the niggling from the Force that had compelled her stay. If it was anything dangerous, Kanan would have sensed it too.

Her concentration was interrupted by a slight clack from the kitchenette of the ship. All her senses stood on end for a brief second, before she recognized the sound. A slight smile grew across her face, and she stepped forwards, bending down to fit under the door to the room.

Ezra was frozen in place, standing on the counter of the kitchenette and reaching towards the top of the cabinet above it. He relaxed when he saw it was only Ahsoka, and finishing reaching up to grab a small packet from the cabinet. 

He slid off the counter and landed on the ground with a small thump, giving her a grin as he did. "Hi, Ahsoka. Are you staying with us tonight?"

He was dressed for sleep in an old pair of pants and shirt that must've originally belonged to Kanan, as the shirt hung almost to his knees. She nodded. "Yes. I thought I'd hang around for a little while longer. It makes me feel better, keeping an eye on your crew, especially after what happened today."

Ezra slumped slightly at the mention of the day's events, and his left hand rose up to rub at his other wrist. The motion seemed to be automatic, given the faraway look in his eyes. Worry started to grow in her heart, and Ezra turned around and grabbed the kettle. She was silent as he started to heat up the water for the packet still clutched in his hand, wondering how to gently approach the subject on her mind.

She sat down on the bench in the kitchenette, watching Ezra leaning against the counter while the water heated up. "Are you feeling okay?"

He twitched slightly, and turned to face her. "What do you mean? I feel fine." The slight tremble in his voice gave him away. 

Ahsoka scooted aside to make room for him next to her on the bench, and he only hesitated a second before sliding down next to her. She resisted to urge to put an arm around his shoulders. He wasn't her padawan. But he was clearly upset, and she was there.

"Do you feel like talking about it?" His hand rose up to fiddle with his wrist again. "It's just . . ." 

He didn't continue, and she thought that they would sit together in silence for longer, when he burst out "I really thought she was going to kill us! I mean, I've been in life-or-death situations before (some even worse than that, probably), but with the Inquisitors it just seemed so, so _real_ -" 

He broke off for a moment, and Ahsoka stayed completely silent. She didn't want to interrupt an emotional release from the boy. His voice was noticeably quieter when he resumed speaking. "I really thought they were going to kill Sabine too. I'm a Jedi, so they might've just tried to give me to the Emperor, or Vader, or whatever but they had no reason at all to keep her alive-" 

He buried his face in his hands. The water on the counter had finished heating up about halfway through his outburst, and she quieted the shriek from the kettle with her mind. She carefully raised one hand and rested it on his back, just underneath his neck.

"Have you talked to Kanan about this? Or Hera?"

"No." He lifted his face and miserably stared at her. "They've got it hard enough right now, Kanan doesn't need to be around to help me through every little nightmare." He frowned. "Also, I'm pretty sure Jedi masters aren't supposed to do that.

_Anakin Skywalker was one of the greatest Jedi masters of all time, and he never did what he was supposed to do. ___

The thought rose to the front of her mind unbidden. She wanted to say something, anything, to help the kid in front of her, but words failed her. Her memories of the Clone Wars, and Anakin holding her as she cried and shook her way through awful nightmares were too painful to approach directly. She'd learned that lesson the hard way, in the years after leaving the Jedi and Order 66. 

Memories hurt, and lingering on them brought nothing but an aching heart. She'd spent the entirety of her adult life running from her childhood, from the Jedi Order and the Anakin Skywalker and all the faces she'd ever met at his side. 

But Ezra had nothing to do with that. He was a hurting child, who'd never had anything to do with her past. Ahsoka took a deep breath in. "You know, when I was a padawan, I had awful nightmares almost every night." 

He twisted to stare at her in surprise. "Really? _You?_ " 

She laughed, even as a familiar sense of disassociation began to creep over her. "The Clone Wars were pretty horrific. I was a child, and a war commander. That doesn't go away." 

She felt oddly numb when she was done talking, but Ezra was sitting up noticeably straighter, and looked less miserable. Mission accomplished. 

"You can't obsess over things that have already happened. You and Sabine are alive, and the Inquisitors don't have you anymore. I know it's hard. Believe me, I know." He refocused his gaze on the table in front of them. She lightly patted his back where her hand was still resting. "And I think you should tell Kanan, if you're having nightmares. Masters are there to help and guide their padawans. And there isn't exactly a Jedi Code to break anymore." 

She started to get up off the bench, and Ezra slid off to follow her. "Hey, Ahsoka. Are _you_ feeling okay?" 

She turned around with a start at his question. She was well used to hiding her distress from other Force users, but it was possible Ezra had sensed something anyway. She'd been planning on finding somewhere quiet and solitary on the Ghost to ride out the nausea and panic rising in her chest from remembering the Clone Wars so clearly, but Ezra grabbed her wrist. At the concern in his face, she managed to rearrange her face into a hopefully reassuring expression. 

"I'm sorry, Ezra. I'm alright. It's just difficult to talk about those times." 

Ezra frowned, and said "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories." 

He hesitated for a moment, and then scooted forward to throw both arms around her waist. She froze in place for a second. Rex was the only person she'd hugged for so long. . . 

She carefully placed both her arms around Ezra's shoulders, and he tightened his grip on her midsection. "I hope your nightmares aren't as bad, tonight." He lifted his head to meet her eyes, and another smile involuntarily grew across her face. 

She held him closer in response. "I don't think they will." 

**Author's Note:**

> i rewatched Always Two There Are with my girlfriend the other day, and _wow_ the Inquisitors in season 2 are creepy.
> 
> ahsoka's been dealing with some pretty horrific things since she was around the same age as ezra, it seems likely she'd want to help him in the ways she never really got. 
> 
> if you'd like, drop me a comment telling me what you thought!


End file.
